Some Thoughts

Some Thoughts

I think, for everyone in the world perhaps, that this has been one hell of a year. In my family actually, that would be an understatement. Aside from the fact that we are all running around in fear of contracting Covid-19, the rest of life is still trying to chug along, just as it always does. For my family, that meant, over the last twelve months rolling, we have had much more than our fair share.

We’ve dealt with no less than 15 deaths in the family to include cousins, aunts, uncles, my dad, and his long-time companion, Dotty, whom we have all come to calling our step-mom. none of the deaths have anything to do with Covid, but one of those deaths was a senseless murder of a cousin who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

When I was about seven years old, I was at my grandmothers house – as a kid, I spent a great deal of time at my paternal grandparents’ house. I had no brothers – just two sisters at the time, and I liked to hang out with my uncle who was just four years older than I. He was more like a big brother than an uncle. Anyway, I digress. I was at my grandparents’ house and I was looking across the street at a house where a friendly old lady lived. When the kids were around, she would give us a piece of candy.

After nearly 50 years, I forget the lady’s name now, but we’ll call her Miss Mary for the sake of placing a name with my story. Anyway, my grandparents lived in an very old area of Baltimore called Fells Point. They lived at 829 South Bond Street at the time. I was there one day and I told Gran I was going outside to play. So, I went outside to play and after a few minutes, I noticed Miss Mary looking out the third floor window. Being the polite kid that I was (I really was at that time), I waved to her, and of course I was hoping that she was going to come down and call to me to give me candy.

My grandmother got immediately nervous when she peeked out the window to check on me, because she saw me waving at someone. You have to understand tat this was the early seventies, and things weren’t crazy like they are now, but it was in the beginning stages of child abductions on a fairly regular basis. She had thought someone was going to snatch me. She never told me that, but I heard her telling my mother when Mom and Dad came with the girls to visit, and to take me home.

Anyway, my grandmother asked me who I was waving at. “I was waving at Miss Mary,” I said. “You can’t have been waving at Miss Mary because she’s not over there today,” my grandmother responded. “Yes I was Gran. I saw her on the third floor looking out the window,” I insisted. My grandma just shook her head and insisted that Miss Mary was not up there, and she went on to explain to me that Miss Mary had passed away a few weeks before.

By the time I was seven, I knew what death was. I maybe didn’t understand it completely, but I understood enough. I argued back however, that I had sen the lady in her window. My grandmother chalked it off as my making it up I think, as did my parents. Another uncle however, believed me. That was my Uncle Chuck (real name David). He had told Gran (his mother) that he had seen a ghost in the very house that we were in. My grandmother told him to stop lying and to quit encouraging me.

Now, I don’t know if she really did not believe me, or she just didn’t want to be afraid, but after that, they could never keep me out of their unused third floor. Uncle Chuck had said that he saw a ghost. I know darn well what I saw in Miss Mary’s third floor window. I have other family members that live in rural areas and of those family members I have a couple of cousins that I need to meet up with so they can tell me of their ghost stories and legends. It’s just something I believe and I am interested in. My uncle Chuck and I were never ridiculed or anything like that, but no one ever believed us either.

Now, I tell you all this story, because it is sort of related to my next thoughts.

With all the deaths in the past year, it set me to thinking of what happens when you die. I’m not a religious zealot, but I do believe in GOD and I do believe in the power of prayer, so based on that belief, I have come to another level in spirituality and in reaching that, I have come to wonder what happens to the soul when it leaves your body. Of course, the common belief amongst most believers, is that you leave and go to Heaven (in many cases).

I have trouble holding on to that though. I mean, I believe that your soul does go to Heaven, but I am beginning to believe that it does not end there. This is the part now, where people start to accuse me of heresy and blasphemy, but hear me out though…

I am about to embark in a journey right here at home. Reincarnation is a topic that I have decided, from my perspective, needs to be looked into. I am going to conduct my research and then I am going to write about what I learned. Since there is no real way to prove whether or not reincarnation does in fact exist, I will present the facts to readers as I find them, along with references to other material. Whether this will turn into a book about reincarnation, or a short story, or even just a short paper, I will let everyone know what I have completed.

So, my question is: What happens after a person dies? Many believe nothing. That’s it. You’re done. KAPUT. I don’t believe that though. I’m not saying I believe in reincarnation, I am saying I don’t know. This question, as I said earlier on, has come up because of so many deaths in my family over the last year, I guess maybe grief is part of it, but I simply cannot come to the conclusion that that is it and nothing else ever happens.

I don’t know how long this research will take. Therefore, I don’t know how long it will take to finish the story, but when I do, I will present to you, like I said earlier on, with what I find, and perhaps I will be able to then form an opinion of whether or not I believe it to be true. Right now, my belief stands at “anything is possible unless it’s proven false”. Right now, I simply wonder, what happens after death?

So, check back often – I’ll update at least once a week. Keep in mind though, that I do work a day job, and I am working on other projects as well, but this is something that I will spend at least a couple of hours a week on until finished. You have a comment about the topic? I’m interested in hearing what you have to say. Please feel free to comment and I will try to answer all comments about this subject as well.